On Loss
Rattlesnake Canyon
I.
I have had this body all my life, but
rarely have I loved it : In the past it
was too demanding : Now I fill it with
hard breathing, oil and spices, worship :
I fill it with bread and honesty : I spend
afternoons anointing it : I am awed by
how it opens
II.
I send you sounds of the river
because I’m deathly afraid that you
will leave : I think if I can lure her with
beautiful music, she will choose to build her
home inside of me : Come love me with
your unending night : The darkness
that folds and presses itself like dough
on the kitchen counter
III.
The wind in the canyon stirs something
immortal, something ravenous : In
everything there is a sense that the pace
must quicken : I sleep on stone, eat
mango in the sun, I know that the time
is coming : A name is passed from the
tongues of trees to the river’s hungry
mouth : This is the spectacular life of
the body : The gentle sense of falling,
the arc of it : Forward momentum, sour
taste on tongue : We are most graceful
when we do not see it coming
Discussion with Myself
after Call Me by Your Name
Maybe it’s elemental : The way of
the body in sand, in shade, in rivers
wide and sweeping : Skin touches
water and everything decompresses:
Skin touches skin and everything
erupts : In attics there are boys
kissing men : In summer there are
bicycles left unlocked : Whatever is
taken is offered willingly :
It is enough to make you jealous :
To make you wish you’d known
sooner : Imagine the time saved :
This is what it means to take the
long way, to neglect the truth:
You splash naked in the water,
remembering only what has hurt :
Most of what your body seeks is
nameless : The hungry eye, the gentle
wrist : But in darkest hours, when
the light begins to waver, you know
what you are looking for
Shaina Semiatin studied poetry under Tim Skeen and holds an MA in International Relations from the University of Chicago. Her work has previously appeared in ASSISI, The Bat Shat, and others. It is forthcoming in Border Crossing. Most days you will find her traipsing about the Central Coast of California with her partner Anjuli and their invisible dog (who would be named) Matzah. Visit Shaina online www.shainasemiatin.com