tw: sexual assault, non-graphic
places i left my body
2006: drunk on wine
on a twin bed.
a movie stars no
from very far away.
wait to see, smell, feel
if he follows. i never
figured that one out.
the hangover started
in my thighs, lasted
my whole twenties. my long-
distance boyfriend spat
the phone at me,
made me promise to stay
away from wine and everybody.
2002: ok
these things just happen calm down.
2000: something half-audible.
my head turned
eyes pressed
down. i let him
confess me a secret
and drive me to buy
potatoes and milk.
in between pretense
of sleep and potatoes
the air crisped up,
telling me something about
this is my responsibility
but i’m never sure what.
1992: i don’t remember feeling anything at all.
the scene is faded among folded sweaters.
1990: starts in a fog
of memory, might be a dream.
toy handcuffs. older boys
had the nintendo.
i had the training
wheels taken off
my bike that summer.
i don’t think it was fall yet but
there were ladybugs,
the real ones
with shiny coats
a good red.
Eli Binkovitz is a Chicago poet with a BA in German studies from Oberlin college and contributions in a 2007 translation of Thomas Brasch’s collection of poems, Was Ich Mir Wünsche (What I Wish For Myself) from German into English. Their poems have appeared in Rising Phoenix Review, Obra/Artifact, and SWWIM Every Day. They belong to the proud tradition of atheist Jews and their pronoun preference is comrade.
1 Comment