Courtney Leigh

falling in love w/RECKLESS BOYS



he pulls the car over

to the side of an abysmal road


he’s drunk so he opens his throat

to the moon to vomit


i told him earlier not to mix

beer with whiskey with feelings


it’s a recipe for Armageddon

i’m his wet passenger & i watch


death pass by in a bright red raincoat

i watch liquor & bile & electricity


pour out into the street

death is knee deep


& though we try to keep our rage

tangled in the fibers of vinyl seats


the world is breaking into anarchy

reapers waiting nearby to scrape


souls off the asphalt

we drive on & i picture them


buried beneath black tire lines

accompanied by other road kill


death stuffing what debris of body

he can into his red raincoat


the tires squeal & i tell my lover

i’ll hold his heart for him


while he takes one more swig

the car slithering like a serpent


with its teeth shown

a sort of swerve & bite


i reach into my body for more

gut, brace his heart & my self


the rain pounds loudly

& death hands me his red raincoat



falling in love w/SAD BOYS



i am lonely without angels to keep me company

today, i found a fallen star on the beach


from an exhausted journey  of gas & smoke

its wings spanned the coast line singed into the beach


half hanging in the ocean, half hanging off my lover’s back

i trace his scars with my pen etch his body into my notebooks


we put our initials in the sand & build hearts with our fingertips

i don’t ask about my lover’s history—i can see the burn in his eyes


scars with too many stories to become mine

i walk in on him sometimes falling to his knees


i walk in on him sometimes in his agony speech

i tell him i am not god, just a coast guard for the stars


when they drown in the atmosphere, stars abandoned

i pick them up i collect them i often dust them on the shelves


by licking them—pain is flavorful

i don’t relish in it, but i’m hungry for something


other than the moon & the stars, there aren’t enough

angels to fall & keep me full—i just hold onto this one


burn more love notes into my palm




falling in love w/STUPID BOYS



my lover plays poke-the-carcass

by a creek in the red rock


there are vultures circling above

waiting for the taunt to end


the carcass’ blood coagulates

& slowly seeps into the creek


we are our own worst enemies

with our selfish anatomy


consumed by desperate curiosity

he puts rocks into a box


he tells me his heart is heavy

with a maniacal laugh


his stick deep in the cold belly

of the carcass, crying for peace


he hates his mother

& i cry bc i am his mother


today & yesterday & every

day he feels abandoned


he talks about dependency

his independence but dependence on me


if i ever leave him, he will cut

himself to pieces cut himself



if i never leave him, he will

surely drown me in his blood


i grow weary of this baptism

his death born again & again


i hide within the carcass’ exposed ribcage

because i want my mind to be free


floating in a box of rocks

down the red stained creek



falling in love w/DOPPLEGANGER BOYS



my body is a two-sided mirror

divided by two lovers breaking


my heart, i am wasted on their walls

in a room of realms in opposite want


i’m torn between sugar & snakes

the comfort of a lying tongue


the danger of breathing—

i burn my esophagus


on pink rubber balls

soft hearts beating beneath


my double-heaving chest

ghosts entering my body


through my heaving breath

i can’t help but coffin-swing


in & out of flesh & hell

for more pandering of soul


so fragile each mirror

to crack a little is enough


to feel something different

the want to be whole again


its own catastrophic intrigue

& i’m suiciding between both



on this sick-dream          balancing beam




falling in love w/DÉJÀ VU BOYS



i’ve met you before

in a dark red corridor lined in doors


embellished in the sins of my past

i’ve visited each room where


i’ve met you before

your face in many forms


but your eyes remain the same

& your interior is furnished


with a similar sense of self-pity

dark red tapestry of guts lain sideways



i’ve met this protrusion before

in a face of many doors


i’ve entered each eye socket

into similar dimensions


all in your green/blue/brown seascape

but in them, a dark red corridor


with many rooms i lie naked in

or clothed or naked & clothed


& the colors

no longer look like different shades


i follow sadness because it follows me





a dark





Courtney Leigh is The Bowhunter of White Stag Publishing. Her chapbook the unrequited <3<3 of red riding hood & her lycan lover was published by Dancing Girl Press, & her poems were most recently published in Alyss Lit, Hermeneutic Chaos & are forthcoming in Menacing Hedge & Yellow Chair Review.

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