“Burning Man List” By: Brad Garber

Tickets!! All 3D and flash, with fantasies in print!

Water!! More Water!! Most WATER!

Tents (just in case)
New stakes (to replace the ones that were blown to Oregon, last year)
3-person cot/glitter
Sleeping bags (3 or 4)
Carpet from India, Afghanistan, Peru or Home Depot
Pillows (one for each head, two to hump)
Tables (one to cook on, one to fuck on)
Stoves/Pans/Bowls/Plates/Eating utensils/Matches/Pot/Knife/Spatula/More Pot
Lanterns like Tinkerbell
Chairs for the parade/glitter
Towels for the naked water truck soaking
2 Large coolers, one for booze
Small cooler, for booze


Cameras/film/computer/radio dish/drone
Boots/trail shoes/sandals/vinegar
Running gear (for pretend)
Toenail polish/remover
Glue/hairspray/olive oil/glitter


Bacon SPAM
Canned beans, corn
Dried stuff
Steaks (2), for first night
Salted nuts
Other stuff


Hula hoops
Olive oil/Maui Girl
Hammer/nails/white paint/body paint/lube
Sun dome/military netting/pea shooters/glitter
Glasses (Sun/Reading)/astrolabe/microscope
Reading material: “The Monkey Wrench Gang,” “Annals of the Former World,” “Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit edition”
Soap (Dish/Body)/Sun shower/loopha/sandpaper
Massage lotion, pot, more lube/glitter
Earplugs/gas masks/goggles
Paper towels/garbage bags/tampons/rubbers
Toilet Paper/nail clippers
Artificial grass for the Mexican chicken, the pirate parrot and the Tyrannosaurus Rex
Picket fencing for the yard and Barbie/Ken
Stuffed dogs, cats, chickens, etc….Moose antlers
Bike tire pump/lock/GoPro camera
Goggles/gas mask/helmet/snorkel/fins
Pink dress/blue dress/”Doris” the fur coat/glitter

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