i hear the news and i can’t stop saying fuck
which is both like me and unlike me
and part of me is grateful i don’t have cable
so i can’t spend all day watching the murder
unfurl over and over again on tv
but then i sit in front of the computer anyway
hungry for information
and with every awful detail i read
i say fuck again
and so i go to sleep crying and i wake up the next morning
and friends on facebook are arguing over how
if you look at the numbers
this isn’t really the worst tragedy in american history
and i say what in the actual fuck
and other friends talk about how
they aren’t going to apologize for being happy
in times of sadness
and i say well fuck off
and i then i look to see what these happy people are going to do
about this bigotry and violence besides being happy all day
and apparently being happy is the only thing they can think of to do
and i say fuck we have to do fucking something
and i think about all those beautiful lives lost
and i think about how small i feel
and i wonder what the fuck can i do
and i say fuck fuck fuck
and i wonder what the fuck is happening to us all, i wonder that a lot
Erica Gerald Mason has been called “the most practical dreamer you ever did see.” She is the author of a two books of poetry and the prose collections Meet Me In The Mixtape and The Lovely, among other books. She also has edited five anthologies, including Wanton, One Tough Cookie, Star-Crossed Lovers and Dinners, Parties & Shindigs. Her poetry has been published or forthcoming in The Found Poetry Review, The Borfski Press and The NonBinary Review. Her poem, “Night Sky,” was a featured work in 2016 Sundance Film Festival Indie Lounge. She blogs at www.ericageraldmason.com.