i wonder how often you have to microwave grapefruit before it feels like my tight asshole how many paintbrushes i have broken massaging biology beneath spotted pink flesh how many times i’ve had to crack my knuckles to keep my pants from splitting or how many deeps breaths i have had to force before the blood would return to my hands and my black curls
i wonder how long you will have to redraw the same portrait before you are good enough to get into that far-away myth named “college” or have enough money to buy beautiful apollo boys and carbs and i wonder how often you think about the folios of hair having tea parties beneath my dog-toy nails and how many light bulbs i would need in order to carbon-copy my finger prints into red labyrinths or sun-burn the bottoms of my feet
i wonder how many blow-jobs i have to give to deserve your “love” (aka attention aka thrusts) and how many religions i would have to pledge my kneecaps and my forehead and my curled-under toes and my outstretched arms to before you stop insisting on being my prophet. how long am i going to have to sleep on the floor before you stop tripping over me
Sophia Trzcinski is a queer-gender sophomore from The Harley School, and prefers to go by the female pronouns that she was given at birth. She likes men, women, books, and knowing lots of things. She is currently interested in studying philosophy and religion.